Advice to teenagers

Patrick Collison writes,

If you’re 10–20: These are prime years!

. . .Above all else, don’t make the mistake of judging your success based on your current peer group. By all means make friends but being weird as a teenager is generally good.

There is much more at the link. Pointer from Tyler Cowen.

I read this as saying, “Go against your programming as a teenager.” I figure that teenagers are programmed to care above all about their status within their peer group. You become defined by your friends.

When I graduated high school, a remarkably wise classmate wrote in my yearbook a message saying gently that she preferred it when I stepped out of the role that I had defined for myself (or fallen into) within my group of friends. This inspired me to re-define myself when I went away to college.

So my advice is to look for opportunities to redefine yourself. When I went to graduate school, I took up folk dancing as a hobby, even though I had been afraid to dance before. When I worked at the Fed and at Freddie Mac, I made a lot of lateral moves in order to fend off boredom. But I think I stayed in both places too long. I take the view that working in a large organization is like attending school. You get through the curriculum in a few years, and then it’s time to graduate. To put this another way, each organization has its own culture. Once you have experienced that culture for a few years, the best way to learn and grow is to experience a different organizational culture.

Working at Freddie Mac (back in the late 1980s and early 1990s), I was defined by others as someone who could come up with a vision but could not execute. Starting my own business was a chance to redefine myself. I recommend starting a business, because it is an educational experience, even if it doesn’t work out.

4 thoughts on “Advice to teenagers

  1. “But I think I stayed in both places too long. I take the view that working in a large organization is like attending school. You get through the curriculum in a few years, and then it’s time to graduate. To put this another way, each organization has its own culture. Once you have experienced that culture for a few years, the best way to learn and grow is to experience a different organizational culture.”

    I found this comment extremely perceptive and profound. It crystallized for me why, after working happily for a number of organizations and then settling into one where I achieved a senior position and stayed for almost two decades, I became very static and frustrated without any apparent cause. I finally left and did move in another direction.
    I wish I had heard this analysis much sooner.

    • I, too, found this comment extremely perceptive and profound. Partly by happenstance, partly by choice, I lived a series of varying work lives as defined by very different organizational employment—seven years as an Air Force officer, followed by six years in a large corporation (IBM), followed by six years as a college professor—and then finally starting my own business (founder, with my wife, of a weekly newspaper). While all the organizational experiences were valuable and enlightening, they soon became stale, leading me to try something new lest I drown in boredom.

  2. I read this as saying, “Go against your programming as a teenager.” I figure that teenagers are programmed to care above all about their status within their peer group. You become defined by your friends.

    Yes. Teens care intensely about their status in their peer group. Why might that be? Because in ‘normal’ societies throughout human history, the status and relationships established then tended to be long-lasting. It’s only in WEIRD societies (western, educated, industrialized, rich, democratic), where a substantial portion of the population moves away from their original hometowns and have little or no lasting relationships with their teen peers. For WEIRD people like us, ignoring ‘teen programming’ to prioritize peer relationships does makes sense.

  3. “If you’re 10–20: These are prime years!”

    Written by a true Millennial. Your average 20 year old is generally so outclassed by someone with more experience than the millennial has years of age that the millennial doesn’t even understand the gap.

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