The Real Goal, set by various selection forces internal and external to the person (including but not limited to Natural Selection) is to WIN. If you have children who survive to reproduce, you are in one sense a winner, no matter how miserable your life is. (And having no genetic children of my own, I am in this sense a loser, regardless of how generally wonderful my life is.)

Likewise, humans have evolved to seek various sorts of status – so getting status can be winning.

Humans (at least some of us) have evolved to seek out various sorts of challenges – so for at least some people seeking and overcoming various challenges is winning.

The people I dislike the most, regard with the most caution, are the ones who talk about what I do or do not “need”, who want to “make me happy”, or who want to “keep me safe” – these are all covers for “we want to control you in some way”